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All of this has made me realise I do want a physical relationship but with no strings. In order to help you think about what possibilities are open to you I’ve listed a number of questions for you to reflect on.
You may want to explore same sex relationships either in fantasy or real life.
‘No strings’ is usually taken only to be about physical pleasure, but if you wanted there is no reason why such encounters can’t also be about romance and companionship.
Not all will appeal, but hopefully this will give you a better idea about what you might try.
Thinking through what ‘sex’ means can help you identify what you do/don’t want to experience. It could mean masturbation alone or with a partner. It could involve exploring fantasy/role play, fetish, BDSM, phone or text sex with someone else, writing a diary or blog, or filming/photographing yourself (which you may want to keep private or share).